Just Like Broadway
by CherrytheFlash
Summary: Fame created a womanizer. One hell of a womanizer. His name is Brendon Urie. He knows at this point in time he can have any woman he wants, and that's exactly what he does. Life made this small town girl what she is. She's a dancer. It's in her soul.
1. Chapter 1

I danced my heart out for the judges. I have to win this contest, hands down. I need to get out of this hell hole. This is my only ticket out.

Weeks of work, blood, and sweat have gone into this routine; I can't screw up. Temptation washed over me like water, I wanted to quit. It's already here. I'm already dancing, I can't. Blisters are forming on my ankles, so soon.

At Skelletones, walking past the bulletin board, a sign said "Dancers Wanted". It was my calling...

My friends said I couldn't do it, my family said I couldn't do it; that I was too far along. I barely showed though. Besides, I had faith in me. I've worked hard, too hard to fail now.

The song ended, and I finished right on cue. The cue I trained my body to stop for just in time. I was quite out of breath, if I started breathing too heavily, it would only show weakness. I'm not weak, so I held it in the best I could.

The judges spoke amongst themselves, I waited in anticipation. The other girls that competed were critiqued harshly. Some of them storming out crying. Only nine have made it so far. There are fifty-three more girls after me. One spot left.

"Miss Moss, please step forward." a middle-aged lady with choppy brown hair and glasses spoke to me. I did as she said. Her face was very serious. I'm only starting to feel the cold sweat get to me. Deep within me knew I didn't make it. The feeling, and her face.

Suddenly, her face brightened, her red lips parted... she was smiling, "Congradulations, you've made it." I fell to my knees and broke down to tears. All I could think of was me being out of here. My hard work paid off.

A receptionist at a desk gave me a yellow sheet of paper, the time my first plane departed, the address of my new all-paid hotel suite, and where I had to go for first rehearsal.

I'm Renna Jade Moss, and I've been accepted as a band dancer.

The place I call "home" isn't totally homey recently. My parents split up last month and my home is still wrecked from it. For a while she was somewhat laid back... now she's all jumpy and unhappy. I love both my parents dearly, and I love them enough to not want my dad moving back in.

I trusted him.

I counted on him.

For what?

Someone I could actually trust and believe in for once, and he took that away from me.

For two and a half years, he brought me away from my bad habits. He wasn't even my real dad! Step-father, not even; just my mom's somewhat long-term boyfriend. I loved him like a real father figure.

But he lied to me. He told me he'd never cheated on Mom, that she's just paranoid. I believed him, because I knew how paranoid my mother could be; especially when it came to the game of cheating.

He did cheat though...

My younger sister by four years walked into the room, "How were the tryouts?"

I smiled proudly, remembering it, in fact, was not a dream.

I'm not dreaming.

"I made it, Lex!" I swung my arms around her, she returning the embrace, "I'm out of here!"

I can't explain how happy I was. Not only am I getting the fuck out, the chance to be free for a while; I'm dancing with my one of my favorite bands.

"Ren?" she questioned, looking up at me, eyes bearing concern. "What about... the baby?"

"Hey, you know me, I always pull through, somehow, don't I?" I gave her a pat on the back, "I'll be fine, I don't even show, do I?" turning to the side so she could get a look at my belly.

"Still skinny as ever. Now, come on, I'll help you pack."


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke to a flight attendant asking me if I needed a pillow. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep. A rush of pain came over my temple from leaning my knuckle against it. The pain was gone just as fast as it came on.

"Yes, please. Thank you." I replied to the attendant. She was a little chubby. Not fat, but meaty. She was cute in her own way. She scurried off to get my pillow. Not long after she was back with a small, yet fluffy pillow. I propped it up and layed my head against it tenderly. Much better than my fist.

Dammit. I can't fall back to sleep.

There's nothing to do on this plane but sleep...

I looked around awkwardly at the rest of the folks on the plane. None of them were anything special, really. I saw a mother holding her small child. He only had to be around a year and a half, maybe two years old. The little boy was half asleep, however, he was still looking at his mother. I focused on their eye contact. It's amazing... I could see the undying love and compassion in both of their eyes.

I then glanced down at my flat stomach. Nothing there... yet. I sat straight up then slouched down in my seat so my tummy flattened a bit more. My hands went down to my pelvic area. I pressed hard and I could feel a tiny bump. Very, very small and I could move it around a little bit. Should I be this small still? I should know everything about babies and pregnancy. After all, I am the oldest of four. Then again, that was a long time ago that my siblings were born and I was too young to understand.

I sighed, leaning against my tiny pillow once more and began to dream.

After many, much needed hours of sleep (due to early pregnancy fatigue), I awoke, gathered my bags and hurried off the plane. My buttcheeks were really numb from sitting and it took me a minute to gain my footing once again. I never want to spend that much time on a plane again, even though I know I have to from this point on. Damn me and my ambitions.

I got lost around the airport a few times, but apparently there was a man sent to accompany me to my new apartment and introduce me to my room mate.

A tall boy greeted me.

"I recognized you from your picture. It's nice to finally meet you Renna." he spoke with a soft but throaty voice.

I seemed shy at first, maybe because I still felt sleepy. I replied politely, "Nice to meet you too..." I trailed off and pondered.

"Ryan." he replied quickly, "Sorry, would have been a good idea to introduce myself, haha." he chuckled awkwardly. He was cute. He was fairly tall, like I mentioned cute, but in a little boy kind of way. He didn't look as old as he could have possibly been. In fact, he didn't look much older than me.

In the taxi I didn't hesitate to strike up a conversation with Ryan. I'm a very confident person and love meeting new people. He was shy at first, but we got heavily into things pretty fast.

"So," I began, "What connection do you have with me or the band?"

He laughed hysterically. I didn't get it at all.

"You're working for me." He finally stated. "I'm in the band."

"Oh. Wow." I said very plainly, almost in a sort of shock. I didn't feel embarrassed though, just shocked. I had listened to the band, but didn't know much about them, or who they were for that matter.

He laughed once more. The taxi came to a very abrupt stop. The driver didn't slow down or anything. Thank God for seat belts. I looked up at a decent, city-looking apartment complex.

"Well, this is where you'll be staying." He quickly jumped out of the car, running to the back and grabbing my bags for me.

"Oh, you don't have to..." I interjected.

"No, no. It's the least I can do. Here, follow me."

It wasn't that hard getting to my apartment, it was the very last door down the corridor, you could see it from the entrance portal. I thanked God again for my place being so convienient, no stairs.

"I really wish I could stay and chat for a while, Ren, but duty calls." How cute. He gave me a nickname already. And I've only known him for what? Less than an hour? "Good luck getting settled in."

He ran out really fast, slamming the door hard behind him. I turned to look at the family room. My door opened again, Ryan out of breath.

"I... forgot... this..." he panted and handed me a small piece of paper. I could tell it had been ripped sloppily off a page. It had an address on it, "Get there tomorrow by 10:00 am SHARP!" and again he ran off.

What a crazy kid.


	3. Chapter 3

I arrived at the address Ryan has sloppily printed on the piece of paper the next morning. My duffel bag hung uncomfortably across my shoulder. Inconfident, I was not. I peered around the room anxiously. Young girls slightly older than me were scattered randomly around the large gymnasium doing their stretches. I walked toward two girls that were evenly spaced apart, layed my bag down and sat along with it.

"You don't mind do you?" I asked the girls politely. They both smiled warmly.

"Of course not." One spoke up first. "You're new right?" she was cute, with dirty blonde hair and sea foam green eyes. Her upper lip was thin, while her bottom lip was thick. It helped to even her face out. She was adorable. Her hair was pulled up into a tight bun and a single curl traced her hair line down to her chin.

"Yeah, can't believe I made it." I didn't sound so enthusiastic but the truth, I was still at a loss of words. Just thinking about the moment they called my name in acceptance. I finished, "I'm Renna, by the way."

"Brigette," said the one whom spoke to me first. "Very nice to have you with us, Renna." she smiled. Ah, now I know. She looks like this girl I went to school with way back in elementary.

"I'm Rachel." The one said barely under her breath. She had been a little busy stretching, which is exactly what I should be doing. I have to admit, Rachel wasn't as attractive as Brigette, but she did have positive physical attributes. I could read her already. Doesn't say much, probably due to a family that didn't care much for what she had to say.

The three of us chatted and got to know each other in small conversation as we stretched. The room was busting with giddy voices, but beyond it I heard the door open. I couldn't help but look over my shoulder.

Ryan stood there, looking around at the girls. I could read him, too. He was making it look like he was checking on our progress and dedication, but I could tell he was just gathering up some masturbatory material. Pervert.

He spotted me among the crowd and waved with a childish smile on his face. I replied with a toothy smile. Then, in the blink of an eye, three other guys appeared behind Ryan. They all had the same look on their faces that Ryan did when he first stepped into the room. What dirty little birds.

"Brendon!" Shrill screams and gasps came from every corner of the room. About six girls ran towards the door to this "Brendon". He welcomed them by offering his arms, like an usher would, girls scrambled for his arms. Once two girls were occupied by both his arms, he waltzed out the door, the lingerers following. I had never seen anything like it in my life.

"Fucking groupies..." I looked up to Brigette, the one who said it. She had a scowl on her face and then cheesed at me as soon as she noticed me cheesing at her for saying it. She draped an arm across my shoulders, "I can tell you and I are going to be really good buddies."

We took a short lunch break. I thought it was kinda cool that they provided small hot lunch for us. Like school, except it was better than school lunch.

Brendon and the girls came back, multiple colored lip smudges covered his face. I don't even know him, but I don't like it. He broke off with the girls and then our instructor, Marge, came in. Ryan and those other boys stood by the door way and watched. Marge called us to line up, we did.

She started the music and shouted, "Five, six, seven, eight!" She did some little jive as she counted, then gestured for us to follow suit.

I felt my blood boil and the music take me. The strides Marge took were embeded in my brain and I hustled to the music. A lot of the other girls were struggling. What? Did they try out without any_ real _dance experience?

"Very good!" Marge called out to someone. I didn't bother to look up. The music stopped. I hardly used any engery for that. I looked up and to my surprise Marge was standing in front of me. "New girl, what's your name?"

"Renna Moss." I replied, as if I was in boot camp.

"Well, Renna, you seem to be the only one with a decent intention span." She spat, as if to the other girls. "Come up here." and I did so. "Brendon, come dance with her."

_Good Lord._

He floated over to me. He grasped me as though I fit perfectly to his form. His hand lay at the small of my back and he pressed me against him tightly. His free hand took mine and my free hand rested on his shoulder. It was really awkward. He was fully dressed and I was in a simple leotard. This felt like a complete invasion of my personal space. Come on, I'm practically naked.

"I want to see how you two work together." Marge said and started up the small boom box again, except this time it was a slow song, "This is just for practice you two. Ladies! Work on the routine we've been practicing, don't be afraid to spice it up!"

"So, you're the new one I've heard so much about." Brendon peered down at me.

"Yeah, that's me.." I broke my gaze from him so it wouldn't show how much he really disgusted me. I didn't want to talk to him at all. I felt like he was really up in my "bubble". As if he could smell me and look into me. I'm creepy myself out just thinking about it.

"I heard you're our youngest dancer. Nineteen, is that it?"

"Eighteen, actually." I replied, still not making eye contact.

"Dip." he called out as he dipped me gracefully. For being such a creepy kid I felt safe as he dipped me really low. When I snapped back up, he kept talking. "Where ya from?"

"Michigan." I said lowly.

"Upper or lower peninsula?"

"Lower. Small town, Wyoming. It's like the butthole of Grand Rapids."

He chuckled. I didn't get it, because I wasn't even trying to be funny. Was this part of his act? I thought really dumb blond girls were only supposed to laugh at things guys say when they're not funny.

"I'm from Nevada." He put in after his chuckle fit was over.

"I didn't ask you where you're from."

His face fell in utter shock. He looked almost hurt, however, I really didn't care. He wasn't going to pull the wool over my eyes.

"That was a little harsh." He said in a sharper tone than he had originally spoken to me. "Don't you care to know anything about me?" he asked it in a knightly tone, almost as if he thought it would save my life just knowing him.

"What, finally found a girl you couldn't impress? I _work_ for you. I don't have to know anything about you, let alone be attracted to you in any way. And quite frankly, I don't care to know anything about you."

I broke away from him without another word or a second glance.


	4. Chapter 4

"Damn. They really hooked you up in here." Brigette gawked as she stepped into my apartment. We decided at rehearsal it was a splended idea to be best friends from that point on. And apparently being best friends means being moochers and loving each other at the same time.

"Yeah. At least it would be 'hooked up' if I had a single piece of furniture." I huffed, carelessly dropping my duffel bag right at the door. "But, that's okay. Ryan is coming to pick me up any minute now to get me some furniture."

"Ryan? Are you two buddies?" Brigette's eyes suddenly lit up, she clasped her hands together and stared at me, even though it looked like her eyes were focused on some dream cloud-- like they do in Anime.

I cupped her face in my hands and gave her a little smile, "I barely know the kid Brige."

"Aw!" She glomped me and held on tight. "You called me 'Brige! We are best friends."

God. This girl is a kook. But, I really do love her already.

There was a small knock on the door way behind us. We turned to see Ryan's baby face smiling at us. He didn't say anything and we followed him out the door. I almost forgot to lock up. Just as I had my key in the slot I thought about changing. All I had on was a hoodie and some sweat pants. Do I really need to look good to pick out furniture? Of course I do.

"Wait, I wanna change!" I called.

Soon, Ryan, Brigette and I were sitting in the center of what would be my living room if I had furniture. Brigette didn't hesitate to tear my suitcase apart and look at my wardrobe. She should just skip dancing and go out for Fashion Police. I feel like I'm breaking the law the way she's eyeing my clothes.

She pulled out a cute gray blouse. I thought it was cute, anyway. It was something I bought to "grow" into.

Her usually giddy face turned to disgust, "This looks like something a pregnant chick would wear." my heart stopped and I unintentionally held my breath. "You plan on having a baby some time soon, Ren?"

"Aha..." I trailed off. "Maybe."

Ryan and Brigette eyed me suspiciously.

"What? It was on sale!" I retorted.

Their suspecting faces only dug into me even more, as if they had some sort of control over it.

Ryan poked my belly. "You're really skinny... right now. You got something in the oven? Hmmm?" He got in my face. I didn't say anything at all. Just sat.

"That's so cute!" Brigette squeeled.

Ryan began rubbing my belly clockwise, then counter-clockwise, "Wax on. Wax off." he chuckled as he did it and then repeated.

They really didn't care? How odd.

At the furniture store I was bebating about what theme and style I wanted my living room slash dining area to take up. Nothing country. Nothing too retro. Nothing obnoxiously girly. Nothing too dark. But then again, I didn't want it to look boring. Oh, and definitely nothing leather.

I browsed and I had to say, I was having a rather difficult time. I didn't think I'd be needing to do this stuff until I graduated college and got married or something.

I stopped in front of a gray sofa. It wasn't too dark, but it wasn't too light. I got comfortable on it and let myself sink in for a minute. It wasn't all that bad. In fact, I could fall asleep. Not good. Pregnancy fatigue, I probably will fall asleep.

"This one!" I called over to Ryan. "I want this one right here!" he was off talking to some guy in a section that was all baby furniture. I got dreamy just looking at it. Being a mommy. He shook hands with the plump man before jog-walking over to me.

"Are you positive? This is the one--" He cut off just as sat down, "Yeah, this is the one." I could tell he got the same feeling I did when I sat on it. "Brigette, come sit on this couch."

She was off in the baby section as well. What is everyone's deal today? She eventually made her way over and sat down. She had a really blank look on her face at first, exactly like Ryan (and assuming myself, as well).

"Holy shit." Brigette's jaw dropped. "This couch is like... magic. Like that show."

"What show?" Ryan asked.

"The Big Comfy Couch. Never seen it? It's kinda old."

Yep. These are my friends.

"Damn, Ryan..." I leaned my head back and let everything soak in. I was really relaxed. "You're famous. I bet they'd just let us stay here and you could find some way to get us room service."

"No. We should probably purchase this couch and find the rest of your furniture." We all stood up at once and Ryan was the first to speak, "Yeah, we _have_ to buy this couch. Our ass prints are in it from sitting for so long."

We laughed in unison and went on our way. I got a coffee table for the living room to go with the couch. Turns out, a matching recliner came with the couch. I also got a desk for my laptop and other things that I might need to use a desk for. A queen sized bed with a queen sized pillow top mattress (Brigette insisted I went with a queen size). Along with the bed were two bed sets with sheets, pillow cases, and big, warm comforters. Two giant pillows came with the mattress and we bought three more. I argued with Ryan while shopping that I was on a budget, but he insisted that he pay.

Now it's off to Best Buy!


	5. Chapter 5

Ryan, Brigette, and myself walked into Best Buy. This one is definitely bigger than most I've seen. My arm was already linked with Ryan's and I held on closer.

"What's your deal?" He smirked, looking down at me. I must say, I love his baby face. "You're clinging as if we're walking through a haunted house, or something."

I gaped around at the store, not bothering to look up at him. I was enjoying my time, even though I'm still standing in the doorway. "Nothing... it's just so... big in here."

Brigette and Ryan began laughing at me. I would be embarrassed, but I'm not. Ryan's cellphone began ringing in his pocket, and I could feel it vibrate. Quickly, he tore it out and pressed it to his ear.

"Yeah... yep. I'm on my way." He hung up and slapped the phone back into his pocket. He then grabbed Brigette by the hand, "It's time. We gotta go." He shuffled around in his pockets some more. I assumed he was gonna pull out another cell phone. Ryan pulled out his wallet and slid out a shiny piece of plastic. "Buy whatever the hell you want. Don't worry about the price, everything is one-hundred percent covered. You won't have to pay me back, I just want your house to be complete and you to be happy. We have to go pick some stuff up, we'll meet you back at the apartment when you're done. Take this too." He pulled a _different_ cell phone out of his pocket. "There are various numbers in there, you keep it. When you're done shopping call for a cab."

As fast as we had come in, they were gone. They seriously just left me here.

Wait.

They left me here. By myself. In a gigantic Best Buy. With a credit card that is definitely not mine.

The first thing I did was run to the cameras and picked one out. I browsed everywhere in the store for anything in sight, still keeping in mind that there are _wants and needs._ I did pick out a really nice TV set, though. Ryan's number was plugged into the cell he gave me, so I texted him and asked if I could get a laptop.

His reply: IDFC!!! i told u to get whatever u want. i want u to be happy.

So, I took his word to heart and shopped. I got an Xbox 360 for the hell of it and a ton of video games, including Guitar Hero, because I rock. I bought myself a new iPod. Basically, all the cool electronics I wanted as a kid and couldn't have, I bought. First time in my life I've ever been spoiled like this.

My legs and ankles were getting sore, almost like swelling, so I said I had enough and called for a cab. On the ride back to my place, I had to fight to stay awake. More early pregnancy fatigue. My whole body completely flushed out. All I wanted to do was rest my head and close my heavy eyelids. The sum of the ride was probably only about fifteen minutes, so I toughed it out for that long. The second I get into my place I'm crashing on... the floor. I sat up straight to fight the sleep. I remembered I had **just** bought my furniture. There was nothing to sleep on besides my sleeping bag at this point. Lame.

The crisp air licked my cheek bones and the tip of my nose as I fumbled for the key to my door. It had gotten fairly dark since the three of us had first left. It was hard to see, the light outside my door was busted. I'll have to remember to replace it.

Finally, after fidgeting for a couple minutes I found the right key and opened my door. I don't even remember having so many keys on this keychain, or what most of them are for, for that matter.

The second I opened my door it smells like a furniture store. Oddly enough, I like the smell of new furniture. Reminds me of going into Menards. I'm so weird. I brush it off. I haven't been living here long enough to get used to the smell. Ryan and Brigette said they would be here, but only my bedroom light is on... I probably forgot to shut it off, or something. Maybe I didn't. Fear creeped up my spine as I dropped the store bags on the floor and began tip-toeing down the hall. All of a sudden the light went off.

Someone is in my house. I just hope they know I'm not afraid to kill someone if I have to.

I forced my hand upon the door, pushing it open and it hit the back wall. I flipped the light switch on. My heart fell instantly. In the center of the room, Ryan stood. His baby face, with his baby smile, looking at me. My bed was against one of the walls, along with a nightstand, dresser. And on the opposite side of the room was a baby crib, surrounded by a changing table, rocking chair. On the wall where the crib stand, wall stickers of little lambs and stars were strewn about. The baby crib had brand new sheets, a soft blankie and a couple stuffed animals. Everything was beautiful and only made me _that_ much more excited to be a mommy.

"Surprise." Ryan said, still smiling at me. My tear ducts grew sensitive and I tried my hardest to suck back the tears. He slowly paced over to me and threw his arms around my waist. I hugged back and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek. I buried my face in his chest and just soaked everything in as much as I could. I have to admit, it was all very overwhelming, but definitely not in a bad way. Ryan smelled really nice.

"I'm so happy. You've done a lot for me so soon. You're wonderful, Ryan.." I whispered to him, being sure nothing I said was muffled. I don't say things like that often, to anyone at all, really, but he deserved it.

"That's because you're amazing and you're going to be a great mother, you deserve it." He whispered back. We only stood there for a few more seconds before he pulled me back and then took my hand. "Well, I want to see what you got. Probably gave me a run for my money."

I giggled and led him down the hallway, "Actually, I was there for a long time, but I didn't really get that much. My mama is a clearance shopper, so naturally, I am too." He began laughing along with me. "Except the TV... it was a steal and I _had_ to have it. Oh yeah, the laptop too... Okay, whatever! I spent money, like you said." This only made him laugh even more. "The TV is outside the door. I'm not allowed to lift more than ten pounds."

He let go of my hand, stopping in his tracks, "Oh, good Lord." He huffed before catching up to me. "Well, after we get this hooked up, do you want to go rent a couple movies?"

I smiled, although he couldn't see me. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

It took us a while to get everything set up. The TV was quite heavy. I had to hook up other appliances, call to have internet service turned on, and cable. It was a really exhausting day, but it all paid off when Ryan and I went to the video store to rent movies.

I browsed up and down the shelves, looking for good movies. Some of this shit was really b-rate.

"I'm not really in the mood for a scary movie..." Ryan called to me a couple from a couple shelves over.

"Neither am I. I can't watch scary movies... No zombies. Nothing. I'm a chicken." I found a movie that caught my eye that I haven't seen in a long ass time. "Hey, Ryan, you ever see Labrynth?"

"No way! You found it? That's one of my favorite movies!" Ryan ran over to me. "Got any other ones?"

"Yeah, The Dark Crystal. I love Jim Henson."

We showed each other all the movies we had picked out and we were very satisfied with what we had scraped together.

Ryan and I lay on my big, comfy bed. In between us was a huge bowl of popcorn. I made hot tea and we called it good. I lay in sweat-capris and a tank top. The room was somewhat cold. I wrapped my arms around myself to stay warm. Ryan was in pajama pants and a plain gray t-shirt, but he seemed fine.

"Are you cold?" He asked, not taking his eyes off me as he picked the popcorn up and placed it on the nightstand. I just gave him a small shrug. He pull me close to him and shuffled around for a few seconds. In no time he and I were under the blankets. They were very warm. I never wanted to get out of this bed. Soon it got too warm for me. Damn pregnancy. I pushed the plush comforter down so now it only sat at my waist.

I tried to focus on the movie, but I knew Ryan was looking at me. It was creeping me out in a way, so I turned my head to see what he wanted. Once he noticed I had noticed _him_, I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry... you just don't look pregnant." He spoke in a soft voice.

"Yeah. I'm only about three or four, weeks now." I lifted my shirt up to only see a flat tummy.

Ryan sat up and kneeled on the bed right next to me. He lifted a hand up, "...Can I?" I smiled warmly.

I half-laughed, "Don't expect a kick yet."

He put his hand on my stomach and slowly rubbed back and forth. I watched him as he did it. He seemed so fascinated, and happy, if that might make sense. Any slight pain that results from pregnancy always feels better when your belly is rubbed. I think it's because it makes the baby happy, so it starts behaving again. No matter what my friends back home told me about abortion, I knew my baby knew, loved, and could feel me from the very second I conceived. I could feel my baby too. I wanted this.

Ryan's hand stopped while I was stuck in my thoughts. He looked at me. The mixture of honey and chocolate in his eyes beat on me with compassion. I felt a lot less lonely than I normally feel. I feel important for once.

With his hand still on my stomach, still kneeling, his face reached closer to mine. I closed my eyes instinctively.

His lips felt perfect.

/3

**Dammit!!! Why in the hell do I always do that? Okay, so, I'll love one band member more than the others, but when I try to write about one of the other ones, the main character fucking ends up loving the one that I really love. FML. Haha. Anyway. Story still unfolding. Like this chapter. Mainly because I want a real man in my life, like that. XD**


	6. Chapter 6

Ryan ended up leaving around midnight. We had fallen asleep. I'm not sure how long we were sleeping, but I remember briefly waking up because he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

This is ridiculous. I shuffled down the hallway in the dance studio. There were various rooms in this place. I hated it. My room is at the opposite end of the entrance door, and they don't unlock the other doors closer to my room. So, I have to walk all the way around here. What's worse, I'm completely new to everything around here, it's hard trying to remember exactly where I'm going.

"Hey! Wait up!" Someone called from behind me.

I cringed and picked up my pace. Unfortunately, I've never walked all that fast in general. Soon, none other than Brendon Urie was next to me.

"Renna? Didn't you hear me calling you?" He asked, looking over at me. I didn't look at him at all. I didn't want to turn my head. I don't want anything to do with this creep. However... I try not to be completely rude when I can help it.

"Oh, sorry, must not have." I answered back in a very blank voice. I picked my pace up agian. Stupid kid followed right next to me, despite. "Brendon?"

"Yes?" He answered quickly.

"Is there something you need?"

"No... I just wanted to talk to you." He chuckled. What a weirdo. "Are you settling into your place all right?"

"Yes, I love where I live. It's homey, and I have Ryan and Brigette to keep me company."

"Ryan...?" He questioned, sounding as if he was speaking through clenched teeth. I laughed inside my head, to myself, remembering last night. "Can I take you out for lunch and coffee after your rehearsal?"

"I can't drink coffee..." I whipped dryly, an attempt to see if it would turn him away.

"Tea? Anything? Just a small lunch. Please, Renna?" He jumped in front of me and got on his knees, clasping his hands together. His lower lip puckered out and he made a pouty face. His eyes got really wide. Almost looked like he could cry. He's good.

I glared down at him. I hope my face was showing how unamused I am. I crossed my arms over my chest as well. "I'll think about it."

As if I really would.

"Brendon!" a few giddy voices screamed from not too far away. Still on his knees, he peered around me. I turned around, too. Four girls were on their way over to us. In sync they leaned in to each other and whispered something.

I can read lips pretty well and made it out. "Who's that?"

I assumed they were pissy because I had Brendon pleading to me on his knees. Without saying anything more I brushed past Brendon and continued the venture to my room.

Soon, things became very familiar to me, as I remembered certain aspects of the hallways from yesterday and I knew where I was going. I walked into the classroom. My fellow dancers were scattered around, some stretching, others doing their own thing. I spotted Brigette all by her lonesome sitting on the floor. She looked completely zoned out. Her hair fell limply and stuck to her face.

I sat down across from her and waited for a second to see when she would notice me. She really didn't, but that's when I saw it; her upper lip had been fattened.

"Who did it?" I asked, without sounding nosy, rather compassionate.

"Boyfriend." She answered very flatly. More flat than I had ever heard anyone speak. "Well... ex boyfriend." She sniffed and rubbed her lower eyelids a little. "Ren. I hate to ask you this, can I come stay with you for a while?"

"Of course." I leaned over and hugged her.

I remembered what it was like seeing one of my mom's old boyfriends hit her, and sometimes my sister and I. Then when I got older I also met a guy like that; the guy that I'm having a baby with. Being emotionally, and occasionally, physically abused like that makes you feel vulnerable and lonely. I didn't have anyone to hold me, or talk to when it would happen. That's all Brigette needed right now. Her body was shaking and I could tell it was getting harder for her to try not to cry.

She leaned into me a little more, took in a deep breath, and let it all out, "Thanks Ren." She lifted herself up. She no longer looked gloomy. Instead, she was the Brigette I knew. That fast she brightened up. "Hey, he's a loser. I'm fine."

"Good morning ladies!" Marge walzted in, using her cheerful tone. "Start stretching." she finished with a smile.

"So..." I began to Renna. My legs were spread far apart and I leaned towards the tip of my toes, "Brendon asked me out to lunch after this rehearsal."

"Say what!?" She screeched, withdrawing from her stretching position. Also attracting _everyones_ attention. I looked around at the staring eyes, but tried to brush it off as nothing. "What did you say?" she then asked in a small whisper, although the staring was still going on.

"Nice going." I retorted, "Now everyone is all up in our bizznatch." She rolled her eyes at me. I just smiled, "I didn't say anything. More groupies came around, so I left."

"Well..." she trailed off, eyeing me, as we both went back to stretching. Before she started up again, she helped me onto my feet and stood up as well for our heel stretches. "Do you want to?"

"Are you crazy?" This time I attracted attention. "I'm not going anywhere with that fucking idiot."

"Why?"

"You want it numerically? One: I work for him; two: he creeps me out; three: look at all the girls that are constantly around him. Do you _want_ me to die an angry, painful death?"

Brigette simply began laughing nonchalantly, as if my reasons weren't good reasons. We didn't finish our conversation. Every so often she would look up at me and laugh. Brigette makes me feel like I'm back home, before things became unbearable.

Maybe my reasons weren't good ones. Okay, well, the whole being murdered by his groupies is a good reason. I wouldn't doubt it happening. Working for him doesn't sound like a good reason not to go anymore. I should get to know him, because I'm going to be having a lot of physical contact with him. I'm going to be spending ninety-eight percent of my time with him for a while. He does creep me out, but I'm a freak as well; could it really hurt?

All of us girls worked on our routine. Some of us split up into groups to help each other out. I was surprised when a lot of them came to me for help. I don't want to say I'm making friends, but I am for sure starting to get along around here. I had to admit, for Marge almost being forty, she really can move. Our routine is great.

I glanced up at the only clock in the room, rehearsal is done in three minutes. All of the girls were gathering their things together. A knot formed in my stomach, and grew tighter. I forgot all about Brendon. Maybe he forgot. _Hopefully_ he forgot. Maybe I can sneak out and not have anyone notice.

I slipped my sweatpants on and threw a hoodie on over my head. I held on tight to the hood so it would stay on my head, and so I could be sneaky. I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder and hurried out of the room, but enough to stay in the crowd of girls, careful not to be noticed. I peeked around on all sides of me, making sure he was nowhere in sight. The walk through the damn building was a long one, but I made it outside.

I let out a sigh of relief and brushed the hood off my head, flipping my hair a little bit. I began walking a little ways, seeing if I could flag a taxi.

"Hey, let's go!" Someone called and pulled up in a car I didn't recognize. Of course.

Knowing I had been caught, not reluctantly at all, I opened the passenger door and slid in. "Thanks Brendon." I heaved.

"No problem. So, there's this little place called the Beanabox. I love it there, I thought we would go and get some tea, or whatever you like, and they have these awesome finger sandwhiches that they give you. I'm sure you'll like it."

Does this kid ever shut up?

/3

Even though I want to deny it so much, I had a really great time with him. The Beanabox was great for not being so popular. Brendon and I ended up talking about everything and he's really not as bad as I thought. He didn't hit on me. Everything he did was polite and friendly. He did act like a friend. We goofed off while we were in there too.

The next week went by fairly fast. I enjoyed all the band members as I got to know them each day. The day I hung out with Brendon I helped Brigette move in that night. Ryan is over a lot too. Not as romantic with me, but still very sweet. He seems to be getting attached to Brigette. That's alright, they both deserve each other. And they compliment each other very well as a couple.

At dance rehearsals, I went on, worked all the blood and sweat out of me. I grew very sore and suffered from headaches and killer back pain during some days. It only grew worse as that week passed. Still, I couldn't give up on my dream, so I pushed on with it.

Brendon hardly spoke to me at all since our day together. Didn't look at me at all. Just went on with those other girls. Now that I think about it, I hardly see him with the same girls. Ryan says he's almost never home during the night and is out with a new girl.

Sounds like a womanizer to me.


	7. Chapter 7

My lip quivered. I could tell the lady doing my makeup was getting pissed off at me, but she was being nice and understanding. This was my first performance in front of more than just a hundred, or more, people.

"Brige... I'm so scared."

Brigette grabbed my hand and gave it a little squeeze. She would have done more, but we were in dressing and makeup. There was very little we could do right now. The show was to start in twenty-five minutes. I watched myself in the large vanity mirror in front of me. Little by little I got more and more dolled up. I looked like a hooker. A classy hooker, though. Burlesque queen, that's how they like to refer to us.

I'm trying my best to not be bothered by many things. I woke up being more irritable than normal, I'm usually a really down-to-earth person. The pains I've been having are horrible today. Around two in the morning I woke up due to stomach pains. They way your stomach gets when you haven't eaten in quite a bit of time. Not just grumbling hunger pains, but to the point it feels like someone is squeezing your stomach on the inside. It hurt. I thought I was hungry, so I got up to find something to eat. All of a sudden I wasn't hungry anymore, and the second I sat up in bed my spine felt like it was being crushed.

I have cramps right now. I feel like vomiting. My hands are starting to get clammy. I can't tell if I'm sweating or not. I'm convinced it's just nerves getting to me. I don't understand it, though, I've never been this shaken up in front of large crowds.

I have to do it.

The girls finished our makeup and we had to walk around to get dressed. I was only in this flashy push-up bra and bloomers. We had to go get our outfits and then our hair done. You'd think they would have given this stuff a lot more time, but it's unbelievable how fast these people work around here.

Brigette got up and lead me; she always seems to know where she's going. The pervert crew members backstage gave us sexual looks and glances. A couple whistles came our way, too. Another thing about being in this industry, you have to be confident and comfortable with everything, accept this shit, fight, and do whatever it takes.

I slowed down a lot compared to how Brigette was walking. Once she noticed she turned around quickly. I grabbed my lower abdomen, curled over slightly and cringed hard.

"You okay, baby girl?" She hurried over to me, placing a hand on my back, and leaning down to look at my face.

I stood up, acting as if nothing happened, "Yeah, I just have a sick stomach. It's just nerves, Brige, don't worry." I smiled, trying to hide the fact that I am in a lot of pain.

It didn't take us long to gather up our outfits before we were walking again to get our hair done.

Not long after that either, we were behind the curtain, waiting to be cued on stage. I was chewing a piece of really minty gum quietly to myself. I really wasn't supposed to have it, now there's no trash and I'm going to have to swallow it. The reason I'm chewing it is because I threw up in my mouth not long ago. It wasn't like normal vomit either. I didn't eat much today. The food that came back up didn't taste like it had even started being digested at all. My stomach and back were killing me. Even worse, I felt wet for some reason. I had checked myself a little bit ago. No blood or fluid. But I felt bubbly like it was that time of the month. I fidgeted and lightly bounced on my high heels to try to shake the thought of all the pain.

One of the stage operators said, "Go" and we were off on stage. I forced the gum down my throat. My mouth was really dry, even though I was chewing the gum. I felt like it was stuck. I put on my best performing smile, sucked everything up and went out on stage.

Everything was going fine and I completely let everything wrap me up. My spirit took over like it normally does when I dance. I remembered our routine perfectly.

It was like nothing was there. It still didn't feel right. The lights were blinding me. I felt like my body was moving like a glitch in a video game. All I could see and feel was the heat of the lights. I grew very clammy, and nauseous. I tried my best not to stumble all over as I danced. I think I'm doing okay right now. The big kick is coming up. I'm not even sure if I can lift my leg that high right now.

I did anyway, and right after were a lot of body thrusts. Then my knees just gave out.

"Somebody help her!" was the only thing I remember. I couldn't open my eyes. Everything hurt. My face felt sunken in. I was wet. Sweat, I wasn't sure.

"Hey, Renna. Don't do this to me." A scolding voice came. I knew the voice, but for some really strange reason, I couldn't get a face.

The room was cold. My head was pounding. My eyelids were sealed shut. I tried to lift a hand, but I couldn't, and it was almost lifeless. I tipped my head from side to side very slowly to try to shake my eyes open.

I was in a hospital room.

There was a sofa on the far wall across from me. Brendon and Brigette lay sprawled together on it. To my left was Ryan in a chair, his head resting on his folded arms on the edge of my bed.

I shook him lightly. He sat up instantly.

"Oh God..." He fumbled around and picked up a phone that was next to me on a stand. He only pushed one button, not long someone picked up. "She's awake." was the only thing he said and hung up.

Ryan slid over to me and enveloped me in his arms. I was wrapped tightly in his hold. He kissed my neck gently and twisted his fingers in my hair.

"I'm so glad you're alright..." He whispered in my ear before kissing my neck and jaw a few more times.

A nurse and a doctor came in. The nurse had a plastic bag with her; the doctor, a clipboard.

"Here's your things, dear." The nurse was short, tan skin, and very plump. She smiled sweetly at me, yet very sympathetically before exiting the room.

"Here's a couple prescriptions; vicodin and motrin, do not be afraid to take them for any pain. I recommend getting them filled immediately. You can leave when you get dressed, just check out." He spoke very bluntly. Almost rude. I don't even know why I'm here.

I just kind of looked at him with a confused and disgusted face.

"Miss Moss... you lost your baby." He bowed his head in shame.

You'd think more of a reaction would come from me, but the truth is, none of it hit me that fast. I didn't believe it. I didn't _want_ to believe it.

As soon as he broke the air with that, he up and left.

I looked over to Ryan, expecting him to tell me I'm dreaming, or something. Expecting him to call the doctor a heartless liar. His normally baby face looked more grown and serious this almost looked old. Bags were under his eyes, and he had shadow scruff. His cheeks were red and stained. A few loose tears strolled down his face. His eyes were glazed over. And I knew his eyes weren't lying to me.

Ryan had to help me steady to get dressed. Brigette and Brendon rode back to my apartment with us. All I wanted to do was sleep, but dying sounded better.

At my place, all three of them helped me into bed. Brigette told me she would stay around home today in case I needed her. Ryan said the same. I snuggled into my blankets. I was so sore and it's almost as if the life was completely sucked out of me. I felt so alone and cold. Brendon sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from me. I looked at all the belongings Ryan bought me. Still new.

My baby would never be able to use them. I would never be able to rock my baby in the rocking chair. Read him, or her, to sleep. Sing to my baby. My baby would never use it's crib. The scene and atmosphere was so happy when Ryan first presented it to me, now it's just dull, depressing, and lifeless.

Ryan came in, "Is there anything you need, Ren?"

"Get it out. Get it all out." I snapped quietly.

"Okay..." his voice feigned hurt.

I quietly began sobbing to myself, careful not to let Brendon hear. Soon I couldn't hold it back and the tears wouldn't stop. I sniffled, coughed, and choked on my saliva.

I felt Brendon lay down next to me. He cuddled up to my backside and pulled me close.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Brendon asked in a low tone.

"I would have been a good mommy..." I choked out.

He brushed a few stray hairs away from my face and delicately kissed my cheek, "Of course... I know. You would have been an amazing mother. Everyone knows that. Things are going to be alright, Renna." He whispered, his breath tickled my earlobe. "I'm not going anywhere, either."


End file.
